There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
