I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
