I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
