I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
