Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
