im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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