I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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