Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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