my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
