just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did i walk over a car last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
