my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
