I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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