a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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