I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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