dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
