So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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