He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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