I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
