This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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