dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
