Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
