Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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