I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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