im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
