But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
