Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
