I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize