As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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