I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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