so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize