yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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