A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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