their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
