I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
