you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
