dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
