Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
