i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize