My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize