party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
