I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
