So drunk, too bad you don't want this
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
