She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
