Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize