Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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