This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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