i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
