man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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