There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
