he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
