Kiss
Puke
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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