Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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