literally had 100 drinks last night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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