I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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