The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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