i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
