So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
