We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it glows. i had to have it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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