No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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