One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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