oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
