you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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