he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
